Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
