32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
