Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
