He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
