Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
