We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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