nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
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Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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