I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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