we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Let's paint friendship bongs
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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