I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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