I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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