Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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