.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
