I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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