That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
