Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
