So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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