but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
