i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.