Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
