i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
do herpes really smell.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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