I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
