for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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