mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
