I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
