dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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