she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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