thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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