Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
