Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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