I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Is it because I queefed?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
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I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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