Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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