Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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