Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize