The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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