when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think I won the penis lottery.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
