He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
