we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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