Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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