now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize