I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
