Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So many bounce houses so little time
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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