girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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