yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
