it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
