Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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