and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
