im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
