i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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