it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
