Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize