the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
