i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
