I am puke
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
