Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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