i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
