ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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