he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Randomize
