I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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