All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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